An equally woeful and rhapsodic life

Posted on Oct 3rd, 2006 by

A couple of weeks ago I was ready to give up. Maybe you've been there... all my grand designs suddenly seemed like grand failures. I had depleted my reserves. I knew I could not handle another disappointment. And I knew a plateau of stability was off in the distance, out of view, and maybe, not even there at all.

Tonight, I have recovered from that place... I have learned (once again) suffering and doubt are unavoidable.... therefore why not simply embrace the pain of life... the challenges... absorb them and accept them, and realize without the difficulties we face, we could not reach complete our mission to leave a lasting positive effect.... for our periods of turmoil are necessary to stay humble, and without humility all our grand designs are but our own eulogies.

Life, I have accepted is equally woeful and rhapsodic... as humans we are blessed with the ability to love... But, with love comes the inexorable lugubrious day we must endue unbearable loss. If we purposely and thoughtfully allow our soul's light to always illuminate the space and time around us, that balance between grief and joy always tips a bit toward the joy. My life is both painful and celabatory... but it is a little more good than it is bad.

Do the thing that keeps our shared spirit smiling, and that which gives you the greatest bliss. Begin now, for only a few Summers remain,

dumb-ass!

I mean, duh!

[I'm speaking to myself, lol]

:::

This weekend I walked into a friend's music store, here in Viroqua... one of the first renaissance businesses in Viroqua. Sadly, it seemed, he was closing this beloved space for good... moving onto other things.

I had an idea.

My Public Market needs more anchor stores, and the music store needs some sort of transition.... My proposal: Let's move the music store into the public market, co-owned by me, downsize... and eventually find a new manager to staff it.

I told myself I would only do it (if he even went for it at all) IF it was undervalued, i could afford it, and the negotiations went effortlessly. 45 minutes later I was a partner in Greenman Music... now set up in the Viroqua Public Market, our new anchor for the market hall space!

:::

I assisted my hospital in purchasing a new state-of-the-art ultrasound for the Emergency Department. I will begin training the ER docs probably in November.

:::

We are working on a t-shirt line.

Organic cotton fabric from a friend with a plant in India... she empowers prostitutes and orphans via who work in the plant. Beautiful terse spiritual, universal phrases on the front, and dumbass! or Duh! on the back. Our intent is to be funny and wise.

:::

I think we're about a month from launching an organic ice cream parlor in the Market. Looks like it will have coffee roasting (we already the home of Kickapoo Coffee Roasters), Sibby's soft-serve ice cream/custard with local topping hand-stirred in the mix, fresh made waffle cones. ice cream made on site eventually. Confectionary, Organic Tea, coffee and fresh juices... birthday parties. Maybe pizza.

:::

Open mic jams start next week. my buddy Steve and I jammed tonight as a test run. The speakers he has are incredible. I can't recall my voice ever sounding better. I was somehow able to belt out "Night Moves" by Segar. We are going to hard wire the market stage for sound, recording, and media projection so the performers can play films, etc behind them, or use the screen to see cords/lyrics--- band karaoke!

We are launching "A Taste of the Coulee Region" festival at the market on Oct 14. We have a bout 20 local eateries and food producers signed up do far.

:::

Viroqua - Our documentary film is with me everywhere, lol, I mean, I am filming everything, cause it all seems so relevant. It's been a lot of fun. We're up to about 150 hours of high definition footage. Editing started tonight.

I am working on a screenplay of an epic trilogy, involving the documentary, God, and our souls.

:::

Angie, my former partner, is having contractions.

:::

I've found a way to affordably sell my photography. I've very excited about this... I can ship high quality prints up to 30x20-inch on matte board for about $65, 16x20 just $45, metal framed 30x20 $160 with free shipping. Anyone interested (I use paypay) simply email me at sales@macastat.com.

:::

New song I'm working on (still rough), [lyrics I could not have conjured without MAC]...

how do we allow love

to cause us such despair

we r fucking blessed

natural world so rare

most animals can't feel

the bliss of love after all

I mean croc eats it kid

- they have no love there

mother-babe becomes

hungry & instant soup

the sacred is simply soup

but true for some humans too.

Man,

that's a life devoid of love

CHORUS:

call it a revolt!

sung by tones in ur voice

come let's lay in bed

& go crazy by choice (mystic voice)

the words

they pass thru ur head.

that galactic melody

her long fingers strumming

all those lyrics all a running

into each corner of the room

you watch the contrast meltin'

yah in to her and you

make for super wall-paper glue!

Yah, call it a revolt!

sung by tones in ur voice

come let's lay in bed

& chant in mystic voice

see those trolls headless with frozen hair?

an other odd mythologies

endless birth of song extraordinaire

unavoidable products of biology

Yah, call it a revolt!

sung by tones in ur voice

come let's lay in bed

& chant in mystic voice

-copyrite 2006 tony macasaet

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